There is nothing like it...

A week ago I was suppose to get my period. I cramped all stinkin' week. "Maybe I'm pregnant, but most likely not," ran through my head so many times. Every other day I'm taking a pregnancy test. How likely is it that I would get pregnant the month before my infertility treatments start up again? I shouldn't dare get my hopes up. Wouldn't this be the best Christmas gift ever for us and our parent's and siblings and everyone else who is in this battle with us? How about the best way to start out the new year? I had a day of no cramping and I dared to start thinking about the many ways we could begin to tell others. The following day, today, I started getting moody and tired. The signs of my period starting very soon. I say, "What the heck, I may as well take one more pregnancy test since Aaron picked it up for me this morning." The result, negative. I tell Aaron that most likely I am not pregnant and then I take a nap. I wake up from my nap and there is my period. My heart, broken once again. My hope, sizzled. Many thoughts of never being able to have children pass through my mind. Why not just get my tubes tied now and then I won't have to think about it at all? If only it were that easy.