Vanity

There is no doubt about it, I am vain. Beware, I am going on a rampage.

I care too much about what other people think. We will take my voice for example. I can't sing. I can hear others on rather or not they sing good, but I can not hear my own voice. Now, mind you, my husband offered to pay for me to have voice lessons. I can't do that. I am too vain. When I know something isn't working out quite right, I hate being corrected. I can't take it. I cannot handle positive criticism. It makes me cry. I am too vain. I have lost my ability to sing without caring. I am always thinking about the person in front of me. I think they would rather listen to screeching nails on a chalkboard than listen to my voice. The only reason they don't run or cover their ears is because they are too polite.

Sometimes I choose not to sing, in order to stop my vain thoughts. Sometimes I sing, but do so hesitantly. I use to not care. In fact, just recently have I started caring. Some of it due to my musically talented husband. I'm even afraid if I took voice lessons the teacher would kick me out of the class. Even worse, I would learn how to sing & become prideful in my singing. Sometimes I think that is why God did not bless me with a good singing voice. I know without a doubt I would be too prideful, even if I could just sing a little bit.

I am realizing all too much lately how vain I am. Vanity raises its ugly head more than I care to admit. I care too much about many things.

Ok, my rampage is over.